That's when you crack a 10am beer
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize