nut hugger
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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