did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
