I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
