took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
