I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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