i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He shit in the fireplace
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
