Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Randomize