sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
