Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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