Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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