am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
