the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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