And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
