Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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