I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
