You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
