the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
