Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I wish you could order shots online.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
