maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
