I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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