I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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