yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
