I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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