belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
