Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
