how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
