i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
i think my cat just said my name.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize