he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
