how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
