I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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