she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
