He uses pillows to masturbate.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize