I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
