so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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