Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
