Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
