put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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