I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize