he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
