The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
