if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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