I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
