I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
