Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
tonight lets celebrate not being married
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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