And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
