is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
