He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
