So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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