Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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