How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
