I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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