I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
