She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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