Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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