I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
if only i could text you this smell
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
