like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
