i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
