i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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