I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I think a kid would responsible me up
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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