Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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