At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
he was CRYING into my vagina
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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